The way the hand is drawn makes things look rather confusing. The hair looks disordered and out of propotion as well the the whole body since there is a lack of anatomy: Compare how you positioned your eyes with other pictures and you'll see what I'm talking about. As for the line art, the lines' thickness should have been reduced to determine the connection between a body part and another. Moreover, the clothes need some clothing folds. Let me scrap up a quick drawing as an example..
Edit:
Yeah, this is a super duper rough sketch which i scrapped up quickly, but i think it does the trick to give you a better understanding of what I'm trying to say.
Edit 2: Just realised you also need some reconsideration on the pose, oh god.