#9026

Imaginative / creative writing goes here.

#9026

Postby Alca » Sat Dec 20, 2014 5:56 pm

In the middle of a field there stood a man. Flowers reached out for miles, creating a sea of fluorescent pink which stretched towards a blockade of snow-crested mountains. The rest of the field had been enclosed by a labyrinth of trees which seemed to be home to an abundance of creatures. He picked up a rose and brought it to his nose as he watched a squirrel dart across the woodland.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he stood back and looked around the valley. He couldn't remember his name anymore, or how he even ended up there. At first he tormented himself as he tried to remember, but nowadays it was nothing but a mild inconvenience. The past was of no consequence anymore. This was all he needed...

Rurik approached a steel door and slid his card into the scanner. A green light flickered overhead and he walked through to a corridor, then continued until he reached a large science lab. A young man wearing a lab-coat came forward and held his hand out.

"You must be Rurik! It's my first day here, I'm Alkan."

Rurik shook his hand firmly and patted him on the shoulder.

"Ah, I heard that you'd be arriving today. It'll be nice to have some company around here for a change. Well, shall we get started?"

Alkan nodded and the two continued walking through the lab. The room was filled with steel containers. Each one had a plaque with a name inscribed on the front. Rurik reached a plaque which read '9026,' then took out a small notebook from his pocket.

"Can you check his vitals for me?"

Alkan booted up a computer near the container and started to search for the correct file. He soon found a document titled ''#9026.' As he opened it the figure of a middle aged man showed up on the screen. Alkan's eyes widened as he saw the picture. He took a second glance at it, then started to look through the data.

"No change since yesterday."

"I see. Could you also check the monitor for me?"

Alkan flicked the computer off, then approached an LCD panel attached to the wall and switched it on. It displayed a picture of a vast field, bordered by mountains and a long stretch of forest. In the middle of the field there stood a man who looked at the scenery in awe.

"He seems to be reacting to the program well."

"Good. It seems you know your way around these machines quite well... The last assistant they gave me didn't have a clue."

"Yes. AR capsules, designed to reform prisoners for their reintegration into society. My uncle actually helped write the software code."

"Really? As you can see, your uncle's work has had a great effect. Prisoner 9206 seems to be improving already, and he's been one of the worst cases we've received in a while... He murdered an innocent woman as she was walking home one night. It's hard to believe the man on that monitor is the same person... Well, come on, let's check the next one."

Rurik started to walk towards the second container, but was stopped as his pager let out a sharp bleep.

"Sorry, I have to take this. I'll be back in half an hour. Can you keep checking up on the other prisoners.

"Of course. Leave it to me."

Alkin waited until Rurik was out of sight, then returned to the computer and switched it on again. He pulled up the prisoner's records and looked through it carefully. There was no doubt about it. It was him. He opened up a different program and started to enter an assortment of code.

"This is for Lucy..."

Alkin took a flash drive from his pocket and hooked it up. He knew that someone would find out eventually and it'd trace straight back to him. It was a small price to pay. It wouldn't bring Lucy back, but at least he could sleep knowing justice had been done. He finished patching the files, then he activated the program.

The terrain around the prisoner began to blur and form into different shapes. He stumbled backwards and clenched his eyes shut. When he opened them again, he soon found himself standing in a dimly lit alley.

Where am I?

He was disturbed by the sound of footsteps behind him. He spun around and noticed a young woman approaching while she typed something into her phone.

"Excuse me, can you help?"

There was no reply. The woman walked passed him as if he wasn't even there. It wasn't that she was ignoring him, she didn't notice his presence at all. He tried to tap her shoulder, but jumped back in surprise as his hand fell straight through her body.

"Hey, wait!"

Still no reply. He started to follow her, but stopped when he saw a figure emerge through the darkness. It was a masked man of muscular build. Without warning he grabbed the surprised girl by her shoulder and pushed her against the wall.

"P-Please, no! Let me go!"

The assailant pressed harder, then grabbed her thigh as she tried to struggle free. Her eyes widened as they met with his.

"Stop!"

She swung her arm towards the attackers head, her nails catching him by the throat. He seemed unfazed by the attack, but his grip tightened and he swung his free hand into her abdomen, causing her to keel over in pain.

The prisoner charged towards the attacker, trying to push him off. It was no use. His body had no form, and just like before, his arms passed through him. He could only watch in terror as the attack swung another punch, this time towards her face.

Then he punched her again.

And again.

And again.

She eventually stopped moving. The attacker wiped his hands, then moved towards the prisoner.

"You're a monster! What have you done?!"

The attacker said nothing and began to remove his mask. The prisoner stumbled back against the wall and clutched his stomach. He felt queasy and his throat began to tighten. Nothing could have prepared him for the moment when the attacker finally unveiled himself. He collapsed onto the floor and screamed until his throat was raw, then looked up at the attackers face, as if he were peering into his reflection in the mirror.

The world twisted and blurred, and the attacker disappeared along with the girl. The prisoner found himself standing in the dimly lit alleyway again. He turned around to see a young woman approaching while texting on her phone. Opposite her, a figure began to emerge in the darkness.

Please... Not again...
Last edited by Alca on Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: #9026

Postby Daniël » Sun Dec 21, 2014 5:15 am

Well, that was rather depressing.

I enjoyed reading it though, you have a very creative mind, which I'd wish you put more to use, writing pieces like these, rather than doing another K-On fan-fiction, but I guess I can't force your hobbies.

A slight writing flaw I saw was:

Alca wrote:When he opened them again, he soon found himself standing dimly lit alley.

You probably meant to say 'in a dimly lit alley' or something.

Besides that, I enjoyed reading it, keep it up.
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Re: #9026

Postby Alca » Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:18 am

Daniël wrote:Well, that was rather depressing.

I enjoyed reading it though, you have a very creative mind, which I'd wish you put more to use, writing pieces like these, rather than doing another K-On fan-fiction, but I guess I can't force your hobbies.

A slight writing flaw I saw was:

Alca wrote:When he opened them again, he soon found himself standing dimly lit alley.

You probably meant to say 'in a dimly lit alley' or something.

Besides that, I enjoyed reading it, keep it up.


Yeah, I've been writing too much K-ON fanfiction lately. I don't take them that seriously though. I'm not actually a huge fan of fanfiction because it's pretty lazy and creates bad habits, but it was mostly just a bit of fun. I'll start writing more original pieces again.

Thanks for pointing that out. Should have proofread it more. Fixed it anyway.
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