Lapisque - (Young Adult Fantasy)

Imaginative / creative writing goes here.

Re: Lapisque - (Young Adult Fantasy)

Postby lordkazari » Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:19 pm

Jon wrote:
lordkazari wrote:what am i not allowed to compliment good literature when i see it?

wtf is your problem man


You commented the exact same shit twice. Legit look at the second post on this thread.

so? it elicits the same reaction out of me as the first part

if you want a novel reaction you have to write something novel you fool
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Re: Lapisque - (Young Adult Fantasy)

Postby Jon » Thu Dec 10, 2015 12:00 am

lordkazari wrote:
Jon wrote:
lordkazari wrote:what am i not allowed to compliment good literature when i see it?

wtf is your problem man


You commented the exact same shit twice. Legit look at the second post on this thread.

so? it elicits the same reaction out of me as the first part

if you want a novel reaction you have to write something novel you fool


So I should post a full length novel to get more than "well done friend" from you?

Fuck me dead. You're an absolute moron.
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Re: Lapisque - (Young Adult Fantasy)

Postby lordkazari » Thu Dec 10, 2015 8:00 pm

is english not your first language or something friend?
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Re: Lapisque - (Young Adult Fantasy)

Postby Daniël » Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:19 pm

lordkazari wrote:is english not your first language or something friend?

Jon is trying to say you should put more effort into posting, it just seems dumb to post the exact same comment twice.
I would have to agree that maybe your post could have more content in them in general, not just this thread. Sure sometimes a bland compliment can be nice, but in your case it really doesn't seem to go much further than that.

As for the story;
I only read the prologue, because I have a lack of patience, but it was pretty good. I wasn't a big fan of the way the minions were introduced. It seemed rather bland to just say 'His new minions were the Toros', considering the more elaborate writing style in the rest of the text and the fact that there weren't any 'old' minions mentioned either. I understand this refers to the people in his empire from 20 years ago, but it seems odd to call those minions.
It also seemed rather strange that Kraz interrupted Quin while he was telling him something. I get that Kraz is an angered, short-tempered individual, but it just seems very illogical to interrupt someone who wasn't even hesitating to share his information. Especially when it's your second in charge. The reaction would seem more appropriate if Quin was waiting to tell bad news.

Lastly, Quin uses the word location twice. Would seem more correct if he'd say 'The ancient pendant, they have an approximate location.' or something along those lines. I get that Quin may not be the most linguistically enhanced character, but he does know the word approximate, which is a rather difficult word for someone who doesn't understand that repeating the same word is grammatically incorrect.

I might continue reading the rest when I feel like it, don't get your hopes up though. When I see big walls of text on a computer screen I easily get demotivated to read it. Especially since I'm always playing music, which takes a lot of my attention, too much to properly read a story.
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Re: Lapisque - (Young Adult Fantasy)

Postby lordkazari » Tue Feb 23, 2016 12:03 am

Daniël wrote:
lordkazari wrote:is english not your first language or something friend?

Jon is trying to say you should put more effort into posting, it just seems dumb to post the exact same comment twice.
I would have to agree that maybe your post could have more content in them in general, not just this thread. Sure sometimes a bland compliment can be nice, but in your case it really doesn't seem to go much further than that.

you fucking idiot

read this:
lordkazari wrote:it elicits the same reaction out of me as the first part

if you want a novel reaction you have to write something novel you fool


if you lived in turkey they would beat you for this level of stupidity
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