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One More Step

PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:15 am
by Alca
This is a vignette/flash fiction, which is why it's so short. Thanks for reading.


One More Step


I woke up, roused by the incessant bleeping of the life support machines that had been keeping me alive for the last ten years. There was a faint smell of disinfectant lingering in the air. Around my bed I saw a crowd forming around me. Ten whole years. Ten years is a long time and I could barely remember their faces. They were strangers to me. I tried to pretend that I knew who they were. I couldn't tell whether they believed me, but soon enough the doctor ushered them away, insisting I should get some rest.

I didn't know anything about this world. It was alien. A lot may have changed in ten years, but I wouldn't have noticed. I only had one home. It was back in that dream, where lush hills rolled out for miles. Where the sky stretched out like the ocean, so clear you could almost see your own reflection.

I looked through the window of my hospital. The reality was far different. Thick smog hovered in the air, blotting out the sun almost entirely. The streets were crowded, and a dozen car horns frantically blared out. Loud enough to awake anyone from even the deepest sleep.

I slipped out while the nurse wasn't looking, and climbed the stairs to the roof. It was chilly outside and I recalled those hot days back home, where the sun would gently kiss your skin as you walked. This was no place for me. I came to the conclusion that this world was all a dream. It must have been.

I climbed up onto the steel railings and looked straight down. The drop must have been several hundred meters. I peered into the strange luminescence, the streets filled with the eerie glow of car headlights.

One more step, I thought.

I recalled my family. My real family. My bride was a fair girl of my own age, whose long, golden hair reached her hips. I had two sons, both took after their mother. I could almost see it now. Their images flickered so vividly I could almost reach out and touch her.

One more step.

I took one step forward and fell into empty air. The pavement rushed up to meet me.

Re: One More Step

PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 7:58 am
by Daniƫl
Suicide has never been more beautiful.

Great short-story, Jon. I really dig your descriptive writing style, it's really quite enjoyable to read. The only thing that bothered me was that his bride's hair reached her hips, that just seems unhygienic, but, alas, you may have different preferences.

Re: One More Step

PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 10:42 am
by Raymond
I enjoyed that Alca, thanks for the read.