General Humor/Jokes thread [1]

[Silo]

You can pick your friends - You can pick your nose - But you can't pick your friends nose.

-Silo

[XElite109]

You can pick your friends - You can pick your nose - But you can't pick your friends nose.

-Silo

That joke is so old that I actually laughed.
What did the man say to the other man?

[tuna]

What did the man say to the other man?

Tell us.

[Gage]

You guys wanna hear a joke about an old lady, a school bus, and a big house?





Good, because I don't have one

[XElite109]

What did the man say to the other man?

Tell us.

That's what he said.

[Caleb]

[Silo]

What do you do with a sick boat?

Spoiler:

Take it to the Doc!

[Kev]

You can pick your friends - You can pick your nose - But you can't pick your friends nose.

-Silo

if you really wanted to you could

[Gage]

What did the man say to the other man?

Tell us.

That's what he said.

What did he say?

[Anton]

Sheep shield activated.

[Mitch]

Every time someone gets mad in dota 2...

[Phewz]

a horse walks into a bar

authorities are contacted and the horse is removed from the premises before any harm can be done to it or the patrons of the bar

[XElite109]

What did he say?

Tell us.

[Llama]

A lady hires a skilled builder to build her a house. She provides all the necessary materials, including bricks. The lady decides to play a joke on the builder by making a ridiculous bet with him. She says to the builder:
"If you can use up all of the bricks to build my house, I'll pay you double what you originally asked for."
Of course, the builder accepts. While he's distracted building, the lady sneaks away one of the bricks. After the man is done, he demands his double pay. The lady shows the man the "extra" brick he didn't use. The man is so enraged that he grabs the brick and throws it into the air.

On a completely unrelated note, a plane flight is leaving the airport. On the flight is a very irritable man, a lady obsessed with makeup, a Wall Street stock broker, and an elderly woman with a very loud dog. The plane is flying, but for some reason, the windows of the plane are left open. The lady obsessed with makeup is applying lipstick but then a gust of wind throws the lipstick out of the plane. This causes the woman to cry, and the irritable man to grumble. Then, the stock broker is reading a magazine, but then his magazine is sucked out of the plane by the gust. This makes the man upset, and the irritable man even more irritated. Finally, the elderly woman's dog begins to yap loudly. The irritable man is so angry that he throws the yapping dog out of the airplane. The elderly woman looks out the window. The dog is hanging onto the plane's wing, but guess what's in it's mouth?

Spoiler:

The brick that the builder threw

Oh, I just love long and drawn out jokes...

[Mitch]

cxzkvjgklfdgnml.jdlubjytkh