Probably the best part of the whole drawing are the folds in the jacket. The rest is ehhhhhhhhhh.... To be honest, I'm in no place to judge anyone's art yet, but if you do accept this cc, allow me to tell you this:
Generally, you suffer from stiffness and lack of understanding of general anatomy which clearly shows in the head. Its general form wasn't respected. Not sure if it's a style -which is highly doubtful- but it seems off to me.
The way I see it fit is something like this, maybe?
I dunno lol
That added to how stiff the pose is. The gesture is so week it almost feels like a wooden stick. I mean you can pose pretty well in Pivot, so translating that into your drawings should be of some help. To help you get closer to the image ...
Now just because of the pose alone, I can't tell what is he trying to do: Is he supposed to be resting on a wall or what? When someone tells you to let your figures tell the story for you, this is what's meant. To help creating a powerful gesture, always think of the movement of the spine and how would it pose in each situation.
Still, though, you sorta managed to finish an artwork which is what some people can't do. And the shading is kinda decent as you've respected a certain light source to a certain degree, so props to you for that